You are deliberately evading what I'm trying to say.
Mind reading, Dude. Maybe it's you with the communication problem.
What response from her would have made sense for you?
Cheers
I don't want to be rude to you but I can't make this any simpler.
When I sent the text that she ignored, a good ten hours or so prior to the conversation you see here, I would have expected a reply informing me at that point of her intention to limit texts because of money concerns. NOT when I ask her why she isn't replying ten hours later.
I'm done with her now anyway to be honest. I know her behaviour is rude and can't be bothered with it.
Successful relationships are built on trust and respect. If you have a firm sense of where you each stand, then things flow without negative assumptions, like your first line of thought.. that she was too busy to respond, no biggie.
Trouble happens with a sense of rejection. Or your "bulls!t" meter going off. If it's an issue and money is a problem of hers, call her hotel or email and deal with it directly. Is it a tempest in a teapot or more? If you're feeling uneasy about what she may be doing, it comes down to trust.
So.. look at your actions, rather than hers.. and figure out what truly bothered you. If it comes down to blaming her, reword stating how her actions effected you.
It's not about making excuses for the other spouse, it's about learning to stand on your own two feet and taking accountability for your actions.
Lordy. Your woman's in Greece. Isn't your goal here to get her to text you pictures of her tan lines?
It's not very warm in Greece right now.
that is a very strange reason for not wanting to see your wife's boobs. I would think the cold temperature would be even more encouragement. hmmmmmmmmm.......
She wasn't 'ignoring me', simply made a decision to not return texts to save money. A decision that any sensible adult would communicate at the appropriate time without expecting people to guess.
Then why do you keep saying over and over again she ignored your texts?
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
I think the point is- you are doing something and expecting something in return- send text- get a reply
if she's not reciprocating, that's her- the answer isn't more texts
she says something about money- OK, its about money- no big deal, enjoy your holiday see you when you get back
The LBS will tear everything apart looking for reason or logic or answers.
Right now there is none. So focus on you.
I did the same thing- communication was a huge failure in my R/M. I tried to correct it, but WAW doesn't want to deal or try.
The answer isn't me trying to make her. The answer is for me to turn the other way, and learn from my mistakes, and do not repeat them.
As for your R- do you want to take hostages or volunteers?
Cheers dude. She was a WAW 7 years ago. She initiated us dating again. I'm no longer a left behind spouse. I simply wanted some honest opinions. I'm not trying to win her back because I don't really care how it goes. Just wanted some feedback on whether her behaviour is rude. We text everyday you know, about kids and stuff. Is it really ok to just decide to ignore texts without telling me? You lot seem to think it's fine because you're all doing anything to get your ex back whereas I'm not.
She wasn't 'ignoring me', simply made a decision to not return texts to save money. A decision that any sensible adult would communicate at the appropriate time without expecting people to guess.
Then why do you keep saying over and over again she ignored your texts?
I would have expected a reply informing me at that point of her intention to limit texts because of money concerns. NOT when I ask her why she isn't replying ten hours later.
So you have a expectation that she will inform you in the manner in which you expect or it is bad behavior on her part. Does she know about this rule you have or is it just expected? She must read your mind?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Successful relationships are built on trust and respect. If you have a firm sense of where you each stand, then things flow without negative assumptions, like your first line of thought.. that she was too busy to respond, no biggie.
Trouble happens with a sense of rejection. Or your "bulls!t" meter going off. If it's an issue and money is a problem of hers, call her hotel or email and deal with it directly. Is it a tempest in a teapot or more? If you're feeling uneasy about what she may be doing, it comes down to trust.
So.. look at your actions, rather than hers.. and figure out what truly bothered you. If it comes down to blaming her, reword stating how her actions effected you.
It's not about making excuses for the other spouse, it's about learning to stand on your own two feet and taking accountability for your actions.
Thanks Gypsy, that's a really useful post. It's a combination of things, I think. I'm angry with her because I think her behaviour was rude (despite everybody on here apparently thinking it's normal) and, no, I don't trust her much. I don't want to get hurt again and I'm more than happy to knock it on the head right now. It was a bad idea anyway.
