The one thing that he really made a point of saying, Pam, concerns me a great deal. I hope I am not misinterpreting here, but it sounded to me as though CHL is saying that you have been emotionally blackmailing him with suicidal threats. Pam, ARE you doing that?
I sincerely understand what it is like to be in a serious state of depression. I sincerely understand what it is like to want the pain to end at any cost.
But, you have been given some strong suggestions from many people here to:
...stop obsessing about the state of your R with your H and start concentrating on taking care of yourself.
...start by contacting a Psychiatrist to get an evaluation of the correct meds and dosage (wouldn't hurt to get some help that doesn't come in pill form either).
...concentrate on simple, accomplishable goals that have to do with taking care of yourself.
...I'm going to throw in my own 2 x 4 here. I could very well be fine to drink alcohol while on a maintenance dose of some anti-D meds. However, I strongly believe that a person in a serious state of clinical depression who is only taking a minimal dose of meds would counter-act the effects of the meds by drinking alcohol on a regular basis! Is alcohol not classified as a depressant?
