I'm going to address this to Pam, but feel free to correct me if I'm way off base.
Pam...CHL CANNOT post freely knowing you are reading. I think your reassurances about his "private" thread were very much needed.
But as he knows only too well, there are times when you can get into a state where you are NOT thinking clearly...THAT's what he's concerned about.
WHAT IF...he posts serious doubts about the viability of your M, or feelings for OW, and you read them when you're feeling suicidal?????
Sure YOU have nothing posted that you wouldn't want HIM to read, but come on! You're the one trying hard to save this M right now...
So if he IS to start his own thread, you need to make a pact with him, us and YOURSELF that you WILL NOT go near it...that you will call, e-mail, scream, do whatever needed to kill that urge should it arise.
On the OTHER hand, CHL, at SOME point Pam NEEDS to know where your heart and head are at...right?
I sense that you may not be ENTIRELY sure of that yourself right now...or perhaps your ARE, but are afraid of what it would do to her in her present state.
I have posted that I will quit reading this thread if David wants me too. So far he has not given me any indication that he is interested in taking it over and my staying off of it.
At this time I assume he prefers we both use it. I am open to change here if he wants it.
That is the very reason I don't want to read his thread, that and what Opt and PIB posted. Cal also told me something similair to what they posted quit a while back.
I really hope you get to feeling better soon.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
The one thing that he really made a point of saying, Pam, concerns me a great deal. I hope I am not misinterpreting here, but it sounded to me as though CHL is saying that you have been emotionally blackmailing him with suicidal threats. Pam, ARE you doing that?
I sincerely understand what it is like to be in a serious state of depression. I sincerely understand what it is like to want the pain to end at any cost.
But, you have been given some strong suggestions from many people here to:
...stop obsessing about the state of your R with your H and start concentrating on taking care of yourself.
...start by contacting a Psychiatrist to get an evaluation of the correct meds and dosage (wouldn't hurt to get some help that doesn't come in pill form either).
...concentrate on simple, accomplishable goals that have to do with taking care of yourself.
...I'm going to throw in my own 2 x 4 here. I could very well be fine to drink alcohol while on a maintenance dose of some anti-D meds. However, I strongly believe that a person in a serious state of clinical depression who is only taking a minimal dose of meds would counter-act the effects of the meds by drinking alcohol on a regular basis! Is alcohol not classified as a depressant?
However alcohol is classed as a depressant because it inhibits brain function globally by enhancing the effects of a neurochemical called GABA...first spots hit are our anxiety centres...hence the pleasurable buzz in low doses.
Alcohol does not actually counteract antidepressants (which as you know mainly work to boost serotonin).
DOOOO check it out with the doctor, Pam, but I BELIEVE the main danger in drinkin on anti-D's is that it can enhance the effect of the alcohol...hence you get drunk faster.
BTW...has everyone forgot that Pam hasn't had any wine since starting back on the meds quite a while ago???
Quote: However, it must have meant something special to you. I say this because I quote lines from Star Wars movies and from Princess Bride...course, I've seen them all at least 20 times each...
Hugs!
I'm not real sure what it was about the movie that I liked. It's kind of a "dark" or depressing movie, so I normally wouldn't like it.
It seemed like a bit of a metaphor for life. Things aren't always fair, and we don't always do the right things, but we keep going. We do what we have to do, and then move on to the next thing.
In the movie, Luke kept getting "kicked in the teeth", but he kept going. Everyone rallied around him when he did. When he didn't, they scattered. In the end, his perseverence made a difference to those around him.
Thought for the day..... Sound like any of several dozen people you could name on this BB?
Well shiny, I think I encouraged Pam to partake of a glass the other night when she was so stressed out. I didn't think she was going anywhere and felt she needed that "low end buzz" just to relax
I use to be scared to drink alcohol because of my E, AD's and E meds. My dr finally explained to me basically just what you said. He said alcohol in moderation was OK. I still don't drink very often..that is a story unto itself...but I don't have the worry about it I once had
Pam...Listen to SHINY!! She is the wise one...we have all agreed on that I already told you much of what she pointed out here today so I won't post reduntantly. I will let you know that I am wielding a 2x4 though and it ain't velvet covered More like solid rock maple with a smooth finish (dont want any splinters in my hand when I get to swinging!)
CHL, do forgive us for our exuberance at partial thread-jacking here I did want you to know that ENGINEERS aren't the only ones who want their logic quantified, double checked and ticked off a to-do list though...some of us HOUSEWIVES have the same hang-up
Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
So...CHL..is your sleep cycle as messed up as mine???
Lately the exhaustion and afternoon quasi-naps have been messing me around big time!!
Not great as I KNOW I'm not as clear-headed and fluent for my first class of the day...I'll just hope that most of them are sleepy too!
Okay, it's a contest...post tomorrow what time you got to sleep tonight. ...It's nearly 1 a.m. here now, so I'm thinking 2:30 at the earliest for me. Sigh....
Quote: So...CHL..is your sleep cycle as messed up as mine???
Lately the exhaustion and afternoon quasi-naps have been messing me around big time!!
Not great as I KNOW I'm not as clear-headed and fluent for my first class of the day...I'll just hope that most of them are sleepy too!
Okay, it's a contest...post tomorrow what time you got to sleep tonight. ...It's nearly 1 a.m. here now, so I'm thinking 2:30 at the earliest for me. Sigh....
Shiny
Yup, my sleep cycle is screwed-up. It's just after 1 AM here. I'll be heading to bed very soon. I'm sure you'll be up later than I am.
And occassionally things actually get through anyway! 
