Quote: I do feel tapped out. Should I decide to start my own thread, I may go into more detail. I think I would feel better about discussing such things in my own "private" area. I think when Pam's feeling okay, she wouldn't check my thread. When she gets into one of her "frenzied" states, I'm not as sure.
I am sorry that you feel tapped out, but can understand with all you have going on and my emotional problems on top of that how you could feel that way. I have been trying very hard to work on them myself, without coming to you for help with them. Well, not by myself because folks here have been VERY supportive and helpful. But at least not coming to you with the problems.
I am NOT trying to talk you into starting a thread, but if you end up wanting too, there is no danger of my reading it. I have actually considered not reading this one when you post to it. But since at this time it is an open thread I feel it is a chance for us to communicate a bit and for everyone here to keep us honest!!
I don't really understand your feelings of not wanting me to know what you are thinking, but what I DO understand is that you DO feel that way very strongly. I acknowledge that feeling and would honor it. I would like to think there is that much care and trust between us that you believe my word and that I still want what is best for you in your life. Even if when I tried to make things in your life, as I perceived, better, I was in damn 'fix it mode', controlling behaviors! But again if this comes across that way it is not meant as a push to start your own thread. That is entirely up to you and I am not trying to push one way or the other just to let you know I would not read it if you decided to start one.
There are times there are things on my thread that you might not want to see but there is never anything there that I would say I don't want you to read if you did it with the understanding that at times I vent there and at times I work through problems there with these wonderful people's help. But there is never anything there that I would say to you Don't read. I understand that you do not wish to read my thread and that is also fine with me. You actually don't have a need as I pretty much tell you whatever is in my head anyway!
I see by the fact that there are posts here from you this morning that you took the vitamins, the Tylenol PM and went straight to bed!
There were only two cups of coffee left for this morning!
Hope you have a good day. I was going to write this as an e-mail and decided to work it out here so folks could hit me if they see any bad communicating habits that I am employing. If you want help you can't sweep it under the rug! So I didn't, I posted instead.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I see you are keeping up with PnB's new thread right now.
Shiny just started a new one last night. Not many posts yet. That is usually a good time to catch one if you want to start reading it and sometimes hers can be very, shall we say entertaining!
I am posting a link for you as I don't know if you go into the forums themselves or are just still using the links I have posted for you to get where you are going.
THIS IS NOT A PUSH to read her thread. This is assistance in case you would like to read her thread.
Quote: I don't really understand your feelings of not wanting me to know what you are thinking, but what I DO understand is that you DO feel that way very strongly. I acknowledge that feeling and would honor it. I would like to think there is that much care and trust between us that you believe my word and that I still want what is best for you in your life. Even if when I tried to make things in your life, as I perceived, better, I was in damn 'fix it mode', controlling behaviors!
Pam, my dear, I suspect he just means he is concerned about you. More concretely that you might overreact to his posting something he felt at that moment, in a 'just venting' spirit. We all post things that we feel very strongly about when we think that venting at our S may strain the R. If our S were to read that post, it would be easy to overreact.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Thank you for that take on it. Rather than my feelings be a bit hurt for an exclusion, look at it as he is trying to protect my feelings!!! And as caring as he generally is about me, that is probably an accurate take on the situation.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
