Question

[awest1217]

S is feeling better, but I didn't sleep much because he kept making noises like he was going to throw up and since he took his medicine, but didn't really eat anything (plus drainage), I thought it was completely possible so I kept waking up to just watch him. He was very happy to be in my bed again. The more I think about it, the more I realize that he has become the little man of the house. This is very similar to a single mom who starts dating. He is going to be protective because he doesn't remember H ever living at home. So Sad His comment last night still makes me hurt for him because all he remembers is H being gone and being with OW, not the H that would wake up and rock him back to sleep or hold him while he was crying and crying the first few weeks. He doesn't remember any of it.

I text H when S was sounding sick and he said if S threw up he would come and help in a heart beat. This morning he text to see how S was doing and said he would come over if I needed help. I am just at such a place where I don't even want to see him. I don't know what to do. I definitely need some advice. I don't know if I just have this hard shell on since the huge blow up right after new year so I am just hiding my feelings for him way down so I don't get hurt, or if those feelings are gone. He is being nice, but the OW thing is just making everything worse. He is so secretive. I think I might start an e-mail to him about how I am feeling. I want to talk to him in person, but he does better when he has time to think so I might let him know after this weekend to expect an e-mail from me. I don't know when he is expecting to move back in or anything, and if he really wants us to work where is the romantice sentimental stuff because it is V-day weekend and we both have at least three days off. He won't even let me stop by his work tomorrow to do lunch together. Any suggestions? I definitely need advice.