Trying to move on

[ClingingToHope]

I've gotten perhaps two hours of sleep. I just don't know how to act or feel at this point.

Do I put my heart on my sleeve and tell her I've always needed her and loved her and want another chance before this all goes too far?

Or do I just turn it over to the lawyers and let them fight it out over every nickel?

Realistically, I believe she feels she still doesn't love me, but she also doesn't want to stick it to me. The weight of the mounting bills are weighing her down.

But I still want the fairy tale. I still want the W from the first five years of the M when we loved each other and worked together to build our future. I don't want the W of the past five years -- distant, depressed, anxious, suspicious.

Anger, hurt, despair, sentimental. Everything is running through my head. This Valentine's Day is the 15th anniversary of me asking her to marry me. That was a great night.

I lost it in front of the kids last night. It was my night to have them. And I started crying. I didn't tell them I'd gotten the D papers. I said I was sad about Valentine's Day and the fact it was 15 years ago we got engaged.

I wonder if any of this runs through W's head?