Thanks everybody. LS papers signed - truly the worst day of my life. Doing as well as I can today - I knew I would be a wreck but trying like hell to show no emotion. My 180 is probably only a 30 today - but I know I have to keep my focus and fight to make it thru the emotions. I will have unlimited access to my girls - so I will be here a lot at the house anyway. W had no sympathy or emotion today - cold as ice. It is just so hard to understand - but I guess everyone here can relate. I wish I could say I feel real strong today and am ready to fight the fight - but today just a real downer for me. Going to listen to "Ocean Cloud - Part 1" by Marillion - the one inspirational song that always picks me up and strengthens me. Thank you all for your kind thoughts - thinking about you guys out there helps me get strength too - I dont feel so alone in the fight. Later....
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
Weird question. Do you have to be in the same room when the papers are signed. I don't really know how the process works -- I will soon. And I don't want to be there in the same room when the end comes. I was in the same room for the important things -- the M, the birth of our two beautiful girls, her dad's funeral, when she found out one of her best friends died in a motorcycle accident.
I was there for that stuff. I don't want to be there for the finale.
Piece of advice on visiting your girls. They are older than mine. When I first moved out, I was over there a lot. And I just really resented being in the house. I was able to work it out where I am almost NEVER at the old house. The girls come over here. It is truly a second home -- although I eventually need to rent or buy a house because they have restrictions here they don't at home.
But at least here I am king of my castle.
Get your girls to your place as much as possible.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Great suggestion Clinging.... I don't spend much time at our old house either, where my H still lives. Make those stops as short as possible. Too hard to be there.
I'm wondering the same thing too ...I'll be at the point of signing paperwork too soon. I'm getting a lawyer so are the two of us (H and I) in there together?
Actually - we were supposed to be together at the lawyers office, and like you, I also was not too thrilled at the prospect of sitting next to my W and signing the LS. Because of snow storm here in NY, it turned out that I could sign at a notary public - which is actually a friend of the family, and then my wife will sign it in their presence, and she'll be dropping at the lawyers office today. So - in my case - I didnt have to sit next to her, although that was the original plan.
Great suggestions about being at the house or not as the case may be. I will have to look for activities with them outside the house. My apartment will be no match for the cable tv, internet, and comforts of home for the girls. I will juggle that as best I can.
In NY - the Legal Seperation is a bit loose as I understand - we can mutually agree to rip up and send a note to the clerk of the court and its over. But - if it goes the other way - it is considered the grounds for divorce in a year.
On the happy side - my daughters will be helping me clean my apartment tonight to prep for my move there this weekend - and that will be quality time for me with them - so I'm looking forward to that - away from the house........
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
So let me just say again to all of you - with all the turmoil going on in my life - and that feeling of "me against the world" right now - it is so comforting to know you are all out there - living some similar situations, and surviving too. It really picks me up to log in here and see your replies. I have stayed within my own thread - but hope to start jumping in soon elsewhere so that I can maybe bring that same hope to others too...... Love you guys - hang tough!!!!!!
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
