I am a big advocate of not being a wuss with a lying cake eater. But not being a wuss does not mean that you become an a$$hole out of anger.
My only experience in controlling finances was after I filed for a D. In that situation, I withdrew all the money from a substantial checking which had recently had my bonus and a mutual fund added to it before I filed. I gave her half of those funds and told her that was all she was getting for the time being. I cancelled all credit cards and opened new ones in my name only. I took her guns and gave them to a 3rd party. She had no access to the other accounts which were technically frozen because of the D filing. I agreed to pay all and anything related to the kids.
Was she pissed? Like a trapped tasmanian devil on crystal meth she was!!! But even those critters settle down after a while and she did likewise. In fact, she later told me that she admired the strength (or new set of balls) I had gained.
But your situation is different. They all are different. It is a delicate thing to put her on a budget controlled by you. But you know that you have to do it. I dont know the exact way you do it, but you need to come off as protecting your family's financial interest as opposed to controlling or punishing her.
I dont envy what you have to do. She could erupt in anger or she could try to guilt you or she could come up with more lies why she needs free reign of the finances or she could file for a D.
Are you planning to put the financial governor on before your trip?
