I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[Quart9]

Thank you Stuck, Puppy, GH31 for your replies. I'm beginning to understand the purpose of DB'ing and I want my self respect back and for W to respect me. Reconciliation is very important to me too. Will the conflict that occurs from my forcing myself back in help/benefit the relationship part of our separation? Have there been cases where this has helped a relationship or is it purely an act of gaining self respect?

I called a friend that is a CA cop (he was divorced and actually reconciled with his ex)to get his opinion on this. He confirmed that legally she does have to let me back in but he could not understand how it would benefit our relationship problems at this point. He deals with a lot of domestic disputes and he says that it would not take much effort/cause for her to get a restraining order against me. I don't want something like that on my record.