how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

i hate everything about painting. and considering the fact that i've moved about 10 times in the last 10 years, i've done my fair share and i take NO thrill out of doing it. i've had to do paint jobs on my own before, so i know i CAN do it. i just don't WANT to.

maybe i should ask, but i feel like because all of this is more or less his decision, that i would be pursuing if i asked about moving in with him if he wasn't at a point where he could tell me he wanted to work things out.

i guess i need the time to give us both a little room to recover. we split for about a month once before and when we reconciled, we jumped right back into the way things had been. this was before i'd ever read DR, so i had no idea what "piecing" was or how on earth i should function in this newly mended relationship - except to make the same mistakes i'd made before. but yes, i would like to know he is serious. again, i'm not at that point. i think he has a lot of soul searching to do, and i think he's too confused on what he wants right now to make a clear commitment. and i can't and won't settle for anything less.