H4L, on the subject of talking in marriages, if you haven't read this book I highly recommend it, I think it could have made such a difference if I had read it a year ago:

http://books.google.ca/books?id=0B3aezW1...;q=&f=false

here's a review:

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/How-to-Improve-Your-Marriage-Without-Talking-About-It

me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.