Flushing the toxins from my life

[CountingCrows]

3. If she's not interested in being a mother you cannot force her. She will have her regrets later. STOP FORCING and BEGGING her to see S7. That's up to her -- and you know she is mentally unstable as it is.

I agree with almost everything you responded to here. But I just want to clarify that I haven't forced or begged her to see S7. I had the original temporary orders modified at her request for more frequent visitation and I have made him available to her for all these visits. She hasn't taken advantage of the visitation rights very much, but I have left it her choice if she wants to spend time with him with no pressure or guilt from me.

I understand that I can't force her to be a Mother. She is mentally unstable, and I don't believe she is any more capable of that than she's capable of being a wife. Both roles demand too much intimacy, which she pushes away from. I have stepped up and filled the roles of both mother and father, and I will continue to do so.

One more thing... you need to get laid ASAP. Go and get laid so that little "spell" she casts over you is broken. Once you see that another woman can desire you and want you it will remove the power she has over you.

I agree that this would go a long way in breaking her "spell" over me. The reason I haven't is multi-faceted. First, despite the fact that our marriage is over, we are not yet divorced and I still feel a commitment to not break that vow until it's final. Second, I'm probably taking a moral high road here...as a way to feel above all the adultery she committed that has hurt me so badly. Third, my options are somewhat limited currently, with XW1 being the most willing candidate, but I don't want to open up that door with someone who is emotionally attached. I'm keeping my eyes open, though. I know that after my last divorce, being desired by another woman went a long way to helping my fractured ego. This time, the ego is completely shattered, so I'm treading carefully.