I am hoping for some guidance and support for what I should do with my H because his emotional affair is causing me a lot of pain and stress (duh.)
Quick overview: We have been married 5 years, have a 2.5 year old son, have been separated for 1.5 years, in couseling, both agreed we want to repair the marriage and start fresh again slowly so we don't repeat mistakes. I left because I became very ill after the birth of our son and the stress of where we lived and husbands anger at me was making me worse. I received a diagnosis about 2 months prior to cardiac arrest at best, death at worst (severe nutrional deficiency caused by small intestines shutting down - was wicked fun).
While I was sick H became "Best friends" with his 22 year old secretary and she became best friends with his sister through mutual friends and interests. Now this woman basically lives in the house I lived in, puts my son to bed the nights H has him and actually is my assitant too at work.
I know I have to ignore her (thanks to my DB coach who was awesome) but really this is so hard not to walk away I would NEVER tolerate this in a dating relationship. I would never "play house" with a married man! I used to be full of compasion and understanding for my husband because he felt so helpless and confused while I was so sick, but now he is on vacation with this woman and my son to visit his family (on which I am still on good terms). - - This is after verbalizing to me that he needs to put space in that relationship in order for us to work.
He does not want to hurt her and wants to look forwrad and not backward with us. It is hard for me to look forward when every time I run into one of these things my wounds of living on my own with an infant while trying to figure out what was killing me before I died and having to see their flirting and flauntin in front of me! I never lost it during that time either (had bigger issues!!)
I take great care of myself, have awesome friends and family, am a competitive martial artist etc. so I don't spend much time dwelling, but this week has been really realy hard not to think about giving up.
