I have been wondering if he is "hitting bottom," and needs to do this in an effort to "end his pain," or if OW is still in the picture (although he denies) and she is pressuring him to do this NOW. His birthday is 3/7, so maybe something he needs by then???? I don't know.......
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
di- You can no longer say that you are not a good DBer. That showed a lot of self-restraint not to bring up the psychologist. I don't know if I could have resisted that temptation. I'm sure you know it wouldn't have mattered if you had mentioned it because he will have to be the one to choose when he is ready to go and do the work.
Be proud of yourself and the way you are handling this. It shows that you are growing and getting stronger.
Yes, I know it wouldn't have mattered. I know that he thinks there is nothing wrong with him----and maybe he's right. I still have that nagging feeling that this is ALL in MY head----that my memory is SCREWED, that his view of our past is right, and that there is nothing unexplained by his behaviour at all. Maybe this is all NORMAL stuff for a man that has hidden his unhappiness for 20 years. Maybe it was all lies for 20 years, and THIS is the truth??????????? UGHhhhhhhhhh............I need help.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Maybe this is all NORMAL stuff for a man that has hidden his unhappiness for 20 years. Maybe it was all lies for 20 years, and THIS is the truth??????????? UGHhhhhhhhhh............I need help.
Please don't rewrite history. Its bad enough that he does it! Your memory of it is correct. Listen to Drew.
So, it seems like every day it's something else. Nurse called, S11 sick to his stomach, so I had to bring him home. I sent H a text telling him. He offered to stay with him so I can go back. I should go back to work. Don't want to. Don't want to ask H for help. I've already missed so much work for D16's surgery, sick and then injured D13, flood at house..........they are so understanding, and always say it's no big deal...........
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Well, I spent 4 hours with S. He's fine---I think just hungry. I guess dad didn't have a good breakfast for him this morning. Came back to work to finish up the day.
JTB - any words of wisdom for me?
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
You ostracize others, and I am not the end all be all MLC DBer. : )
That wasn't as harsh as it sounded.
Your son came home with a sick stomach, right? Chances are he didn't eat breakfast if his stomach was upset...but your quick to jump to the conclusion that his dad didn't provide a decent breakfast, yeah?
Advice,
Stop jumping to conclusions, unless you knew something that you didn't post. Even if that is the case, jumping to conclusions is still a very bad habit and a hard one to break at this point of being an LBS for you, and one of the easiest to fall back into.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
