I'd like to add another item to that 2nd M D-rate...
Since most people become creatures of habit they end up picking a similar partner i.e. in choosing their new partner and revert to a facsimile or their previous one... and the cycle repeats... this time in a shorter timeframe (as Rob pointed out) because their patience threshold is lowered.
This also points back to introspection. Few people do the introspection required to identify their mistakes and where they went wrong. E.g. Some men like women who are b1tches... so they choose a b1tch to marry again. Same thing for women.
the divorce rate isn't higher because of trust issues,
sorry, I wasn't saying that was the reason for the rate, but the reason that moving on to the next person is not going to make trusting better. and Rob is right, if you remarry someone who is also previously married, then you do become more vulnerable because of the fact that they will D you much easier than they would if you were their first.
But, Rob explained what my point was, that if you don't resolve the problems in the first M, then you will only carry them into any future R's.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I'm really angry this morning. I don't wanna make a decision out of anger but seriously.
He came home last night at 10:20 (latest time ever on a weekday) remember he gets out at 3:30. He didn't call and when son text him "where are you?" finally at 10pm he didn't answer.
I had warned him not to come home late like that without calling. Now I have to do something. He was just sarcastic saying "I didn't wanna call" and "I'm an adult." So FAR from being an adult.
I told him "you can't sleep in here tonight" he said, "fine" and slept on the couch. This crap is just getting progressively worse and I can't take it anymore.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
It's good that you are letting him know it's not going to be tolerated...I know it's tough- the past 4 months w/ W in the house was TERRIBLE for both of us. Hang in there
Be strong and go dark completly... He will figure out eventually what he is missing!!.. YOU!!.
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
Plan on going dark now but so hard to do in a house with kids. I'm sure he'll start pushing every button so I gotta stay focused.
Actually reject him openly, you are the WAW not the LBS, as soon as it was revealed that he was cheating, you changed direction and moved in the opposite direction.
