Here's my story..midlife crisis/infidelity

[flowmom]

JG, if your H is seeking validation from you, I would suggest trying to be "too busy" to give him that. "Oh, I'd like to see your apartment, but I have lots of plans this week. Maybe another time". He's trying to normalize this by getting your seal of approval -- avoid being in those situations if you can. On the plus side, his seeking your approval shows that he is less detached than my H is (who definitely would not want me to visit his apartment and who didn't give me his address until I asked for it).

Details about your H's life don't interest you right now. You'd love to help him, etc. but you're too busy. He doesn't have a chance to tell you about the bed that he is sleeping on because you interrupt with "I'd like to hear more about that later, but someone's expecting my call this minute so I'd better go".

Take care.