Sage said: I believe that Pam's depression, largely untreated for most of your M, right? is a HUGE issue here. It has and is creating emotional instability, over-dependence, and a host of other problems that are NOT helping this sitch AT ALL.
Gee...that describes me too!
As I said earlier in this thread I was up to 125/150 mcg of Zoloft a day. It took me about 6 months to wean off slowly, with my doctor's input every step of the way.
I believe my husband was worn down from 7 years of day after day being the strong one. And putting up with my swinging emotions.
I think it was particularly hard for him because he believed that it was all in my head. For awhile there, he thought if he just told me to snap out of it, I would. He still feels guilty for not being able to help me more. I keep telling him that he wasn't trained in pschiatry. That I know he did the best he could with what he had. I don't know if you are in the same boat, but if you are, please, please, stop beating yourself up!
If I could go back in time, I'd have gone on the meds at the very begining. I would never have fought the idea. It was such a huge help for me. And I never intended to be on the meds for the rest of my life...but they were such a hugely valuable tool. I wanna kick myself for not getting on them sooner!
CHL, I think it's great that you are on this bb.
Pam, I also want to stress the importance of staying off each other's threads. I'm concerned that when CHL opens up and starts looking for support here, you'll get defensive.
I think it's important that he have a safe place to be himself without fearing upsetting you.
I know that is your intention anyway. I'm just trying to say that I agree, that this is a good plan! I too would feel more comfortable posting to him on his own thread!
CHL, something that I did when I first joined the bb was to look for people I could resonate with. That looked like they were having good things happen. And I'd trace their entire story from the begining. It helped me to recognize patterns in the things my husband I were doing right or wrong, as the case was. I spent a lot of time reading and very little time posting for awhile there. I don't know if this is something you'd be interested in doing...just mentioning it because it helped me.
He still feels guilty for not being able to help me more. I keep telling him that he wasn't trained in pschiatry. That I know he did the best he could with what he had. I don't know if you are in the same boat, but if you are, please, please, stop beating yourself up!
