Well it's been nine months and my H is still gone. And the rollercoaster continues, but he's working on staying calm (as am I) so it really helps. It is calmer when H isn't here all the time, however it is harder on S. I still have to work on protecting myself for when "Dr. Jeckyl" comes out. I have to walk away. I have to leave the house. Last week I took S with me. But over time the bumps are smaller and the smooth times are increasing. Please take time and space to yourself and get him out of your brain. I don't know that I have ever "gotten over it." I just have faced that it is reality that I don't know which H will show up and I need to have plan a AND plan b in place to cope. It's no fun. It hurts. It sucks. Some days I want to say, fine let's D. But my heart is still in it. Try to calm yourself. I like the bath idea.
and yea mine gets to me with the D talk too. Don't show him it baits you. Even if you are screaming inside, just realize you can't stop him from saying or doing anything, you can only walk away and protect yourself when he says/does things intended to hurt you.
