I totally get being who you are and not who H is afraid you will be. I have the same issue now. I tend to get frustrated that H doesn't see "the real me" but we cannot control other's perceptions. We have to stop the eggshell walking, trying to "show" H that we aren't who they fear we are. Those are THEIR fears.
I think with time and persistence, they will begin to trust who we truly are. They can't see it now because they are in fear mode. They are also having a hard time looking at themselves and thus projeting onto us. Just take a step back and remember he is just going to fear what he's going to fear right now and all you can do is keep validating yourself. Remeber PM's self validation and self soothing. Being positive is wonderful. It feeds you. You are not letting him affect you then. You are detaching and enjoying your life and not walking on eggshells. It's a tricky tightrope to walk, but we can do it! Great job!
