I think I can answer this one for CHL, Zoo. He's absolutely been on Pam's case about the meds...heck HE'S the one who dragged her in to get that Rx filled and get back on them after her impromptu "cold turkey" .
Pam's going to agree we're all ganging up on her, but rest assured CHL, she's been getting more than a nudge to see not only about meds/dosage but about getting in to see a GOOD counsellor.
I believe that Pam's depression, largely untreated for most of your M, right? is a HUGE issue here. It has and is creating emotional instability, over-dependence, and a host of other problems that are NOT helping this sitch AT ALL.
One thing I can tell you, CHL is that although I don't suffer from depression, I do have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (which has dipped into depression, serious enough for suicidal thoughts a few times).
When I FINALLY woke up to how much this was contributing to the toxic behaviours I displayed with CJ (my H) I got my a$$ to the doctor and onto meds PRONTO...I also started therapy and embarked on all manner of meditation/self help stuff.
Pam is really working on the behaviour side of things, meditation and all...I just feel that her depression is not at present being treated well enough to allow these methods to do what they should.
CHL, I was an overly dependent, whining, angry, controlling, sarcastic, moody, perfectionistic, dismissive, "entitled" , "weak", needy, ....need I say UNPLEASANT? person to live with for quite some time.
(now I DO have my good points!!! )
But it really took the right meds (I take Celexa and low doses of Xanax) and persisting with my mediation, and cognitive therapy to turn this around.
I realize now that I'm actually FUN to live with!!
I mean, no wonder CJ used to work long hours and travel all the time...what did he get here but gloom and continual disappointment.
Oh, yeah, that was a HUGE theme for me. If I'd have died during that time, my epitath would have read "She was Disappointed".....YUCK!!!
This is NO way to live.
I feel so for Pam right now as she's still so emotionally labile (up and down) and far too dependent on you for those swings.
I feel so for YOU, CHL, because if you're like CJ (and Pam seems to think, that in some ways, you are) you've been worn down by the years of being "the strong one"...and having to live with such toxicity at home (sorry Pam, I can think of no other word...and it applies to my sitch too) .
CHL, CJ was CONVINCED that I would never change...it was just the was I was...Didn't help that I would excuse my temper or sarcasm by saying just that: "I get it from my Mom...all the women in our family are emotional screamers"
Can you say "Lame Excuse"????
We're encouraging Pam to lay OFF on contacting you, especially phone calls of that sort AT WORK!! Possibly the WORST timing!
We've told her to come here, vent, meditate, distract herself, challenge her thoughts and whether you know it yet or not...she's had some victories!!!
Pam....are you hearing this??? Calling David at work...NOT TO DO!!
Keep posting CHL!
How have your physical symptoms been? Can you link a worsening of them to any particular types of stressors?
Here's hoping all is well at work...an you're having a GOOD night's sleep!
Shiny
P.S. you can only do two eggs??? If that's a cholesterol thing, I heard recently that an egg a DAY is just fine!
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