I have a lot to say on rages but I will keep it short.
1. Focus on the affair and the OW... motion for your H's HELP. Do NOT leave him feel at all under ATTACK. 2. Once you let loose, LEAVE.. don't apologize, don't dust or vaccum, just LEAVE 3. Don't do this often. Save them for once every week or so. Act cold and indifferent. 4. The focus is to demonstrate the pain and hurt you are feeling, its NOT to attack your spouse or leave them criticized.
He WANTS to experience your emotions, that's how he keeps that life line open... so you HOLD them BACK... except for the rages.
After you come back (a few hours later.. NO TEXTING) you apologize :
"I'm sorry I got upset. I am not sorry I AM upset. I am sick of your lying to me and our children. I do'nt want you to see that. I don't want to share ANY of my emotions with you <insert name here>. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. Please do not interact with me. I cannot repair a marriage while you are with that woman."
and you LEAVE calmly without ONE MORE WORD
Its ok that he knows how you feel, but he can't get a taste of your emotions when HE wants it, YOU will decide when to rage. And keep them to a minimum.
The key is to show him NOTHING.. think Mr Spock here... he's a good sample to build on.
These are hard to do, so use them sparingly... And the apology and taking back your emotions is essential here. He needs to know you are holding back your feelings until his affair is over. He wants them and he cant have them... don't let him.
