I had to fight an affair on and off in my home for over three years. I heard a lot of "I'm not seeing him anymore" only to hear "I'm in love" a few weeks later.
The last SIX MONTHS of that three years was when my strategies were put into full force. I was needy, apologetic, helpful, friendly, etc.. for a long time early on. THEN I distanced myself but I mopped in the basement for a while. When she did contact me I responded right away. In short, it took me two years and six months to find the strength and courage to fight properly. I was only doing a half-effort and then i regressed.
This PATTERN of pursuing the rescue of your marriage and then faling back to a half effort... is PARLELL to the affair.
The affair is a pursuit of the fantasy, and then falling back to a half effort in the affair because reality has been hitting home hard.
I KNOW how hard it is to fight an affair, we all do. Fighting them with FULL FORCE will end them MUCH sooner. If I had just found my self-respect and dignity sooner I would have saved myself a lot of pain.
We are trying to spare you that pain. He needs to see you are serious and that you mean business. He needs to know the clock is ticking and that his responsability is at home. Texting him that your class was fine is not sending that message at all I am afraid.
We just want to see your home NOT have to suffer any further. I would just shut him out completely and tell him to leave a message if he has anything to say.
