Next steps

[avermont]

Ummm...because it's always been my nature to focus on the negative??!! I'm working on changing that!

Also, all--unless I am in complete denial, which is always possible, I am not currently experiencing the house as a horrible sad repository of memories.

Yes, it would be different when/if he moved all his stuff out. Bare walls, empty rooms. I would cry rivers.

But--right now, for the day to day--I don't feel all sad and reminded about X while I am there. Really--I'm not saying "oh, the day we hung those doors! The day we painted that wall!"

I am saying "boy, I enjoy the radiant heat in the bathroom. Gee, the woodstove is nice. Sure glad I'm here to enjoy it! The hardwood floors will need re-doing in a few years--and then they will look so nice! boy, these shelves are so great--I can find everything I need!"

Honestly, that is what I am saying, thinking, and feeling.

We also know, of course, that I am anxious, depressed and lately not sleeping.

But also GAL'ing, etc.

There are also big financial questions involved in the house.

Briefly--the more I think about it as a BUSINESS, which is how VT law will look at it:


the rents cover the mortgage.

the mortgage will be paid off in 14 years.

to give up the house gives up the current mortgage advantage, and the future profitability. (very very tiny profit, but still!)

So I am talking with L about how to frame the loss of that future income into a settlement.

I am also saying: why the heck should I be the one to give up such a good financial sitch? Pay a mortgage on my own--housing prices have doubled since we bought this one. I earn $10K less a year then he does; he has a partner to share living costs or buy a new house with.

So even setting vengeance aside, from a financial point of view, staying in the house is very good sense. Maybe even make enough to pay for the IC!

thanks all--more posting later. Lunch hour is up, and I am worn down thinking and writing about all this.