avermont, I'm sorry that the IC isn't helping you right now. I've spent years of my life in C (not recently) and I have regrets about not being more picky.
About the dream. It sounds like you are clinging to the conflict about the house because it's the last shred of your R left. Your love for the house is the last thing that you share with him. I read once about someone having a funeral for their M. They buried some items that were symbolic of the R in a beautiful spot and found some closure that way. I wonder if you could do something like go to a beautiful place and have a ritual where you bury a house key as a symbolic gesture to achieve closure around the role that the house has played in your R? You need to look at that house as a dwelling, to look at it not as the repository for memories that you don't want to let go of, but look at it as whether it's the right place to start the next chapter of your life.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
