WAH in MLC with PA

[DiamondGirl]

Soooo tired today.

Started a second job last night (will only be for 3 months or so) and am still getting over the cold from the weekend.

I am feeling so hopeless right now. I know, I know. Everyone has days like that on this forum... It is just so hard when he's emailing me asking what I object to in the custody docs to imagine a future after (or if) he comes back to earth.

I'm pretty sure he falls into the category of man who thinks divorce will end his pain or finalize the chapter and it saddens me. I don't want to be divorced from him. I want a chance to forge something new together.

I'm starting to wonder if he will actually hit bottom at some point or if he's going to continue spinning for the rest of his life. It hurts to think of it as it would be a damn shame because the man I married was so full of love and compassion.

I don't want to have to lose my home to the MLC monster. I wouldn't qualify for a mortgage as I stayed home for so long and have a limited credit and work history.

I can't afford to buy him out either. And doing so would mean I'd have to qualify for a mortgage.

I'm feeling so hopeless today that we're going to end up divorced and our family ruined by his insanity.

I've been successful at controlling my impulses to make his downfall quicker... I've been telling myself that he will have to crash and burn through his own doing not through my actions.

I am afraid that going to court for custody will be a part of his crashing and burning and I don't want to be the cause of his hitting bottom.

Trying to concentrate on me today is next to impossible...

I need to hear some positive stories that divorce isn't the end of the road for this because right now it feels like it is...