things got strange yesterday - W was crying alot and very upset, gave me the "her life is falling apart around her" story....have to say i was not upset by this. Welcome to my world.
however as i stood there and listened to her, for the first time i KNEW i could get through this...no matter the outcome.
more strangeness - W actually tried to snuggle into me last night when i got in bed...has not touched me in bed in 2 months (in that manner)...been 4 months since any sexual contact...i simply let her rest her head on my shoulder...no more.
today she has called me 6 times and it is not even lunch (didn't answer 4 times - got to remember she has my children at home, so i can't just not answer). I have not called her at all unless it was important or about the kids over the past few weeks (used to call her 6-7 times a day).
i shall continue down my road - not persuing, truely listing to what she has to say and making sure i continue to take care of me.
hoping the other GMAN sees this - as he has helped me...well for lack of better term "get my $hit together".
will update again in a few to see how things are going.
Last edited by gman; 02/10/1005:46 PM. Reason: bad word...lol
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
i beleive the W is coming out of her fog - has posed me with this question if we try to rebuild our M (Recalling the ILYBNILWY feelings she has), she said she is afraid that she will not get her feelings back for me and that i will just end up hating her.
told her i don't know what will come of the future and if she will ever get feelings back, but i am going to be a better person and will get through it with or without her and go on with my life.
did i make a mistake telling her that? but it is truly how i feel.
i see the hope but don't want to smother it.
Last edited by gman; 02/11/1002:40 PM.
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
in short my situation is changing rapidly and not too sure how to handle this - long and short WAW is now talking about future and being scared she will not get "feelings" back, and she has "given up"....also told me she wants to be "in love" and it is upsetting her that she does not have these feelings for me.
i have been working on me so hard lately i never even considered what to do IF/WHEN the day may come that i had the chance to move forward with her....
so here is my delemia - i am not a romantic person by nature, but i feel that one thing i need to do for her (as well as myself) is show her what it is like to be loved and "in love" again. she has not fully committed to the idea of working together towards the future, what do i do? do i continue with the 180 approach? do i continue to hang back and let her watch me?
got to figure the 5 love languages is going to pop up here isn't it
(oh....first intimate touching we have had in 4 months last night!)
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
"WAW is now talking about future and being scared she will not get "feelings" back, and she has "given up"....also told me she wants to be "in love" and it is upsetting her that she does not have these feelings for me."
This is where you validate her feelings with "yes I can see how you're scared. It is scary at times to not know the future. But then again no one can." Don't push the "giving up" portion.
Right now take the focus off of her. Act how you were when you two were first M. Just not too over the top.
You acting romantic is the last thing she needs. For a woman, you have to slowly build the emotional connection with her first. Start with a pleasant conversation. Then a longer conversation. Get her to laugh and lighten up so she is not concentrating on the sitch. Make her "forget" the sitch and the pieces will fall in to place.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
This is where you validate her feelings with "yes I can see how you're scared. It is scary at times to not know the future. But then again no one can.
Right now take the focus off of her. Act how you were when you two were first M. Just not too over the top.
You acting romantic is the last thing she needs. For a woman, you have to slowly build the emotional connection with her first. Start with a pleasant conversation. Then a longer conversation. Get her to laugh and lighten up so she is not concentrating on the sitch. Make her "forget" the sitch and the pieces will fall in to place.
stuck - thanks for the words
strange thing is that is pretty much what i was doing, but was not sure about how to biuld the romace back (if possible) or if i should be attempting it this soon - want so much to she her smiling and laughing again.
hope this is the right road i am on!
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
Guys want a quick solution. It doesn't work that way with a woman. Sounds weird, but picture yourself as an OM. If you started being interested in your W, what would you do to attract her? You don't go right up to her and say "hey babe, you're hot, let's go out"
You work at it. Or better yet, imagine her as an OW. Forget for a moment she's your W, but instead a hot co-ed that you wanted to attract. Take your time.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
