I am with pup on this... why on earth are you texting him at all?
He's CHEATING ON YOU... DISTANCE is how you maintain your dignity and self - respect.
When you interact with him you are TEACHING him to walk all over you. You are telling him he can cheat and there are no consequences. When you maintain your attachment to him he has no impetus to leave the OW... He is enjoying his cake and eating it too...
Take your cake away... STOP interacting with him. Tell him if there are any questions to send an email to a friend of yours.
Now, I realize your friends may not want to take on that job. Penny reccomends that, but there is a way around it. YOU make an email account on hotmail or whatever with your friends name as the user name. Tell your H to email any matters to discuss there and they will be filtered to you if needs be. He won't know you are reading the mail yourself. He will still feel you are distancing yourself.
This has two benefits. It takes YOUR attachment away from him. He WANTS to interact with you. Every time you respond he gets a kick out of it... but when YOU respond, you are telling him what he's doing is OK. HOLD IT BACK. In addition to this putting pressure on HIM, it detaches YOU from his moods and drama. You will start to feel better.
DISTANCE DISTANCE DISTANCE is a VERY important part of ending an affair. It's counter-intuitive, but it works. When I finally found the strength and courage to give my wife the silent treatment and brought boxes home and started packing THAT is when the REAL stress hit her... she was a complete wreck... the affair didn't last long after that... and when she did communicate my intel told me it was almost always a fight between the two of them.
Do not interact. When you protest his affair and then talk wtih him after that, you INVALIDATE the protest.. he thinks you trust him that he's not cheating. He is deluded into thinking his denial is believable. He thinks that's why you are interacting with him... because he's not cheating.
This is REALLY HARD I know.. but you got to stop texting him... especially when he texts you. I am willing to bet you respond RIGHT AWAY TOO dont' you? Can you guess what we will say about that?
Regarding his mood... Affairs are RIFE with DRAMA.. HIGH's and LOWS. One day is exiting and fun and thrilling, the next reality has sliped into the meeting and a fight erupts and the two selfish mixed up people take it out on the only two they can... each other. They fight over having to sneak around. They fight over having to lie. They fight over having to hurt their famlies. They DO fight.
Highs and lows are a cornerstone of infidelity. It comes with the package. He's going to be moody, aggressive, defensive, charming, funny, childish.. you name it... he's going to be ALL OVER THE BOARD.
He's in an UNHEALTHY AND UNSTABLE emotional relationship with the OW... this is going to TRANSLATE into UNHEALTHY and UNSTABLE behaviour. When impulse controls you, you are an impulse.. you change from one moment to the next.
