Don't be so sure that her C is leading her down the D path. I felt my C was doing that and she did a lot of validating of my wife's desire to D but by your being strong and not fearing the D it may set in a new reality for your W. You are doing good! Lead the way gently. I am not so convinced that your W wants a D. She does want to get rid of the pain and you do represent the pain but she needs as much time and space as possible to come to that realization that YOU are not the real problem.
