snodderly- I guess I shouldn't try to analyze why my H has left his things here. I just find it so odd especially that he would leave the gift from his D (from his first M) who he still has a good relationship with. She is quite content with her father and I not being together although they had a talk when he was planning on coming back and they both agreed that it is his life.
Thank you for reminding me that my H's thoughts wouldn't make much sense even if I knew what they were. I have such a difficult time remembering that he isn't always rational and his mind is in complete disarray at least when it comes to his emotions. It is hard for me to understand how he did seem like he getting it, he did seem like he is made progress and now he is completely avoidant. I guess it is all part of the turmoil.
Originally Posted By: snodderly
Your h is running from his guilt and shame.....he will need to face those two head on before he can finally understand himself. You cannot help him.
I am sure this is true but how difficult would it be to face up to those things? He knows how accepting and understanding I have been so I can't help but feel there has to be more. I know my H was having anxiety when he was at my house possibly because he felt he wasn't in control here. I don't know why I still have a need to figure it out. It is what it is and I should just accept that.
I have to remind myself to just live my life like he isn't coming back. There are times when I get that and I'm okay, I question if I would even want him back..and then there are times when it hurts and makes no sense.
I did make an appointment with our C. Maybe he can help me find a consistant direction...especially if he has been seeing my H as well.
