Seeking, No one is advising you to give up on your h. However, what we are trying to tell you is that there is nothing you can do for him right now and that your energy would be best used to focus on you and your family. Your family needs you now more than ever.
As for the finances, in my area, my xh had to authorize the transfer from his name to mine. If you have joint credit cards and there are balances, you will need to determine whether to pay them off or request that the account be transferred over to a new account w/just your name on it. In my case, contacted the two joint accounts and advised them that I had lost the cards in order to do this. The reason that I'm mentioning joint credit cards is that whatever he runs up on that bill will also be your debt as well. So, get your name off of them as soon as possible.
As for him being just a pay check, he will need to figure that one out. When they are in crisis nothing you do will please them. They are so out of sorts and bounce all over the place. That's why it is very important to take care of yourself, try not to analyze their every word or their behavior. It's really not about you at all, but about them and searching for the answers that they need to heal.
All you can do is pray, have faith in the man upstairs, and dig deeper for more patience.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
