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[OnceBurdened]

Thanks G,

After reading Sandi's post I noticed a couple of things that shed some light and I need help with-

So when she gets mad, or if she pouts and says you can’t forgive her, you may think about telling her that right now you are not putting as much thought into forgiving as you are wondering if she will repeat her behavior. You don’t accuse her, but if she says you can’t trust her……just look at her. That’s all.

I've been saying something along the lines of - "It isn't my fault there are trust issues in our M"

Sandi's is ALOT better in my opinion. Has more of a DART to it.

BTW, just a word about validating. Some people have the idea that you have to “agree” with everything that is said, but you don’t. You listen, and you may nod your head (if you can agree), but if you don’t agree with what she says, you simply say, “It’s too bad you feel that way”. Sometimes the less said--the better. It worked for you when you didn’t respond right away to her, didn’t it?

See this is STILL where I get in Trouble. She will not allow an "OK" or a nod of the head or I will talk about it later. It is troubled water when we get to this validating. Mainly because she will not allow me to not talk about it.

AND - I've warned her that this behavior has to stop. She has to respect my space.

I would suggest you do not have any make-up sex.

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