After thinking about the discussion I had last night with stbxw about mediation, I have an observation or two.
Stbxw has not planned any of the details of what her post-D life will look like. She has looked at townhomes in the same school district we are in now, but that's about it.
I shouldn't be surprised, and in a way, I am glad she hasn't looked at the details. Now, she must face the brutal reality of what post-D life will likely look like.
But this also underscores the lack of thought and the outright emotion that is driving this decision. I know I can't fix her or even persuade her, but it all seems so avaoidable. So, surmountable. And, that must be the critical difference b/w she and I: I want it to work, and know it can, but she doesn't.
Stbxw has also returned to the counselor she saw 6 months before she ever told me there was a problem. Based on what stbxw has told me about her prior counseling, this counselor is basically just giving her the green light to divorce me. Both of the C's I have had remarked at how wrong it was that stbxw's C did not try to involve me early on.
And, yesterday, when I got home early, phone rings and I piick it up. It is one of stbxw's friends who is D'ing her H and is in a flagrant PA. Toxic is the best word to describe this person. Stbxw is surrounding herself with people who "validate" her decision and not those who challenge or questions her. I understand why, but it is so sad.
