I agree w/ both of you that there is a line that we walk- remember that the problem is doing or not doing something out of fear. We have to lose the fear of losing our W's and M's. Only then will we be free and can become whole again. I toyed w/ all the angles- and w called them just that- angles. I looked at them more as reasons or factors- love, history, property, debt, family, jobs, etc etc etc. I worked all of them- and it was all perceived to be what they were- pursuit, pressure, and neediness.
Then you read the one post or two maybe about the WAW who says I wanted you to fight for me. We read that and think AH HAH! That's what she wants.
The best way to go is to follow what the vets say- distance, detach, dont pursue, no R talk, and focus on you.
We all have a lot of growing up to do...and believe me- we all deserve a second chance but only some of us may get it.
We need to play the odds and be prepared if this is end game...become the WAS and regain your power
