My caeer has entered "meltdown" mode. I have gone through 3 jobs in the past year. Things are extremely hard in my profession right now, due to the economy. Quite frankly, right now, I am just trying to keep the bills paid, and my head above water. I had to take a job that is over 1,000 miles away from my home, and quite frankly, I am thankful just to have that.
No, I am not doing the things that I will regret on my deathbed. Quite frankly, my financial situation just doesn't permit that right now. I need to save every dime I can, to keep paying my bills, including my children's tuition. One child started college last year, and another starts next year.
I did most of the NMMNG exercises. But I realized sometime afterwards, that this program was leading me in a place I didn't want to be. Many of the activities in this program conflicting with my Christian beliefs, and I simply could not abide that. This was particularly true of the masturbation exercises, which quite frankly, I found to be extremely disturbing and sinful.
Why do I want to stay with my wife to intently? Out of my obedience to God. I swore an oath to my wife, that I will remain married to her, for life. I swore this on an altar before God. This promise is to God, not just my wife. I can't break a promise to God.
I hope to somehow repair my relationship to my wife, even though she is 1,000 miles away, and somehow stay out of the divorce court. Really, that's all I am focused on doing right now. If we never have sex again, it will be extremely disappointing, but I will find a way to live with it.
