@number 8 - I definitely agree on the cycling through high/low states.. It's now a question of how long I can wait it out without losing my sanity at the same time. At the very beginning I brought up the fact that he may have PTSD and a few days later they had PTSD training at work so he sent me a text saying he was learning about it. He wasn't opposed- just closed off on sharing how he felt about it. There's also a history of mental illness in his family (sister tried to commit suicide years ago when she was living with him and his ex.... long story but she just moved back here this summer after losing their house. Now lives in H's apartment building with her family.. coincidence that she moved in and his 1st marrriage broke up and now she moved here in June and he started walking away in July with us? Hmmm) And I definitely agree that if he were to get healthy, our relationship will improve but how do I get him there? Just don't know how much more "wait it out I have left in me" Haven't read DR but will check it out.. and will check out your thread in a minute.
@number 8, @mark G - Thanks for the advice on filing. I will definitely follow that advice. Although he is pretty strapped for money so don't think he'll be going that route. But one lawyer told me about this other option where I could take him to court to at least make him pay a portion of the mortgage... not like alimony but a way to force him to at least pay some commitment. I like the idea in that it forces reality that he can't just walk away from responsibilities.. but afraid that it will have the same effect
@markg - I know! He says it's not her fault b/c she thought he was single but still. Just wondering how much of an impact that has had on all of this and how to unravel all that damage at the same time. Everyone says I should report her but I promised h that I wouldn't as long as we were trying to work things out. No, definitely don't want a D but at the same time, also want my life back. Want the option of having kids, stability so don't know how long to try and work it out and when to cut my losses and move on to a more healthy life! plus, struggling to pay the bills and he pays nothing towards the house for months but expects to share in the investment? Not fair.
