well I could really use a critique. The other day I emailed the respondent for the second time about our holiday agreement.
Some Background: -Respondent and I agreed during mediation that to a holiday schedule with the little men. - Thanksgiving was agreed to be one way but we both agreed to change that agreement to be that whomever the little men spend Thanksgiving with in a given year would spend the whole four day weekend. We both agreed, but never got it in writing as is required for us to do and to sign it.
In addition: - last month the little men were supossed to be with me for the Martin Luther King Holday weekend, Which happened to fall on her weekend this year. So I must admit I messed up and thought it was her year to have them on the MLK weekend, my bad. So I sent her an email saying that we messed up and that the little men were to be with me. So to reconcile the error, why don't we just agree in writting that the little men will be with her in even numbered years and me in odd numbered years for the MLK holiday weekend.
Well she emailed me today saying that she would agree to sign the paper I wrote up about Thanksgiving, but wanted to discuss with me the MLK weekend and left it like that.
You see her Modus is to put out a statemnt of something she wants, but intentionally leaves out EXACTLY what she wants. I think it's so she can try to play me as she used to do.
So I wrote her an email back saying that I don't feel there is anything to discuss about the NLK holday, since we both mad the mistake, and that the fair thing to do would be to just switch it as I had suggested.
In addition in her email to me today she wrote,
"With the holiday coming up how do you want to do the exchanges. If you wanted to keep them later on Friday and then I just keep them til school on Tuesday I think that would work...less exchanges for them. If you have any other ideas please let me know. I would like to have the details worked out by this evening or tomorrow morning so I can tell the kids what the plan is before they leave, if possible."
Here is a little background on exchanges: -in the past summer the exchanges had gone horrible. She refused to drive them all the way to were I live, at my fathers house 1/2hr. away from her house. She would only drive them halfway, so the exchanges ended up being at a park and ride on the side of the highway. I felt this was rediculous and sent the wrong message to the little men and I refused to drop them off there, but had to accept that she was going to. In addition, she brought her mother along to record or video tape these exchanges for some sick reason. Well the custody evaluator got word of that and shut her mother down fortunately. Then exchanges were required to be done by a third party so that the respondent and I were not both present. The custody evaluator felt this would benefit the little men, and it did. The funny thing is though that I have been the only one to have to do any of the driving for exchanges though, due to the fact that the little men go to school in the city she lives in. So, on holidays when they are not in school and the little men are with her, she is required to drop them off to me. She still doesn't want to drove them to my house. Hopefully that gives some insight into her email about this weekend.
Also not about the change she wants to make about this coming Presedent Holiday weekend. Normally what occurs is that we alternate weekends with the little men. Where they get picked up after school on friday by the parent that is with them that weekend and dropped off at school on Monday. Then the other parent picks them up after school Monday afternoon to have the little men spend the next two days.
So now she is suggesting that we change the aggreemnt we made with the mediator about this holiday weekend to be that I get to spend a few extra hours with them on friday in exchange for her spending an extra afternoon and evening with them.
She is one crack smoking, manipulative ........
So here was my response to her on that,
"As far as this weekends holiday is concerned, we already made an agreement. I will drop them off at your school on Friday if you are open and you can drop them off on Monday."
I feel I was clear, unatached personally to her and buisness like. At least that is my intention one dealing with her. I have made the choice to disconect from the games an continued manipulation attempts. Everyone says we are to "co-parent", yet no one talks about how your supposed to co-parent with an individual who will lie and manipulate any situation to serve there desires. So, I hav chosen to be polite, respectful, buisness like and transparent on all issues about our little men.
So PLEASE, let me know how I did. Talk about your dealings and what works for you. Just chime in everyone.
I love hearing from people and the more I do the more I feel I can cope with all of this.
