WAW now pregnant.....not mine

[MarkG]

As far as names on birth certificates I wish my stepdaughter's had my name as the father. It would have simplified things the 2 years we had her, and now she's been living with her bio dad since June and I miss her like I would have missed one of my own. This is probably not true in many cases, but we would have rather not even told my stepdaughter she had a different dad. This is a decision you will have to make, and if you've already made it that makes it a lot easier. What actually happened is I didn't sign the birth certificate pending a DNA test, then after the DNA test I changed my mind too late.

As for her asking to spend time with the family watching movies, etc. I would not turn it down. It's not a time to let her try to cuddle on the couch, but letting her know you're there for her by being in the same room while something else is going on is a start to showing acceptance as a friend, which she does need. I wouldn't cancel plans for it either, but as long as it doesn't go too far between the 2 of you it should be a positive experience.

And the living situation.... Tell her you can't live in an open marriage, and as long as there is OM she is not welcome to stay the night but she can visit without OM present. It is not your job to support her as long as she is not willing to work on the M. As far as not coming home til 10:30 AM that seems disrespectful. It hurts her in the same way it hurt you when she did it to you, and that can only do damage.

*** disclaimer - of course that is opinionated, point is to set boundaries while still being friendly, but without being demanding or controlling