Well, I Survived The First Day of The Big D! That's a start!
Hre's my "Good-bye" to Newcomers:
D Day Journaling, Friends,
It was surprising how much at peace and how calm I was in court through the proceedings this morning. Even during the drive home.
I walked into the house, into the kitchen and - as I just told gima - had a kitchen/dishtowel sobbing meltdown similar to his bathroom/towel scene last night.
What a very, very deep place within the soul, the heart, the psyche that comes from when it does erupt. And erupt it did.
I was alternately okay and not okay throughout the afternoon and evening.
Even though it's fifteen months today since I came home from retreat and she announced out of the blue "I got an apartment," and you would think that these ensuing months would have steeled me for the inevitable, I suddenly felt awfully lost and so very alone in this house today and tonight.
I kept myself busy by readying the house for a 5:15 showing, killing time at Borders during the showing reading some Stosny. A couple of emails and calls from friends, a couple of sentimental/reflective postings put on FB, a couple of hours on this board leaving me and mine behind and offering what I could to you and yours.
It is time now to bring my sitch over to Surviving The Big D permanently and to retire Changing Man over here in Newcomers, eternally grateful that for eight months you all contributed so much to my becoming that Changing Man.
I'll be back here to visit you and your sitches at Newcomers. But I belong over there, now.
You have all been a Godsend.
Peace and love,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
