Are regrets when you end a separation normal?

[flowmom]

From your recent posts, I get a clearer picture of the problems. Thank you for elaborating. From what I know now, I am assuming that a large part of the problem is a culture clash. My mother was Canadian from waaaay back and she married my father, a recently immigrated man from Eastern Europe. They had a lot of problems and I believe that it many of them were based different cultural assumptions and miscommunications based on that. You have some serious concerns about your wife's life and her role as your wife. It sounds like she and you have totally different assumptions about some things, and that you have not been able to communicate with her in a way that she can hear you, except coercively. I'm not convinced that Retrouvaille would be helpful in your case, because it's based on your cultural assumptions, not hers. I think you'd be better off seeking out counselling that is specifically oriented towards bridging the cultural gap. Your W is living in your culture and on your terms and that puts her at a huge disadvantage. I think that you and she need to communicate with the support of a counselor who has a very good understanding of both cultures and who can bridge those gaps.

IMO, intercultural marriages have unique challenges with respect to communication. I feel for you and I hope that you can get something from what we offer here.