...They maybe could if they BOTH are prepared to try and speak the other's LL. If one does and the other doesn't then it gets old pretty quickly to be the one speaking the foreign language the entire time. And I think it's really important to appreciate how difficult it is for someone to speak a LL that doesn't come naturally. All too easily it can get taken for granted.
I think we are on the same page now. Yes, it is difficult to learn how to speak another language of love to please a spouse, but compared to being in a sexless marriage or many other things I have had to learn to do over 38+ years of marriage, at least it is something that can bring real happiness to my wife and that I am willing to stretch to accomplish.
When I came home late and she couldn't have dinner ready for me, my wife use to go nuts. I couldn't figure out why until I read 5LL and then it hit me that she felt about my not allowing her to perform her acts of service much like I felt when my initiation of sex was rejected. After than I always came home on time and even if I was going to be just a minute or 2 late, I would call to warn her so she could slow dinner down as she felt it was important to have it ready for me when I got home. I am not sure that acts of service is all that easier having had to live with it (at least until I understood what was happening.)
My wife's other language of love is Quality Time. My hope is to figure out some bedtime rituals that will allow her to feel like we have quality time while we both physically and verbally connect at the end of a day. I am not there yet, but have found that post-coital cuddling and talking is a special time to really connect closely verbally and emotionally.
If you have any quality time suggestions, I would enjoy finding out what seems best for you or other quality time women friends you know.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
