Sorry, OTMT, sorry that you are feeling defensive here.
You stated you are religious- have you spoken to a clergyman or someone of high stating in your mosque concerning your issues for any insight?
Just trying to think here....
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)