Rough night last night folks. Went to bed, and as I was praying, a wave of emotion just came pouring out. Probably more grieving the death of the M and the break up of the family. Just stood in the bathroom in the dark and let it all out. Thanks to a towel, very little noise - didn't want W to see me that way or, especially, my kids.
Last night, I think a lot of my emotion came from being fatigued from this process and simply missing experiencing closeness with my stbxw - not physically, but emotionally. The lack of intimacy is something that creates an emptiness. I can counteract that to a point, but the fact remains that that part of my life, at least for now, is gone.
And sometimes the body expels - forces to the surface - what the heart, mind, emotions try to suppress so that we can continue functioning.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
