Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[antlers]

The response has too much emotion.

Too much emotion means she's hit an artery.

When you're confident and detached you don't need to get emotional. Facts and strong, positive actions will do the work.

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But this is just my view. The Dog doesn't like to waste emotional energy arguing with the she. I just do my thing. If she makes a bunch of noise I ignore it.

And you know what? There's been less of that lately.

(Robx may have other opinions)

It's the first time since she left that I've had a response like this. It feels counterintuitive...I agreed with what she said, instead of bantering back and forth with her. I'm not arguing with her, I'm not contesting her feelings, I'm agreeing with her...and she has nothing to fight against.

Arguing with her and trying to get her to change her mind by countering everything she said about me and the relationship, disagreeing with her, and disagreeing with reality (pursuit)...did nothing but push her further away.

Now I show her that I agree with her, and I agree with reality, and I'm moving on without her...I'm not pursuing. There's no fighting or arguing, no pursuit, and no pressure. The goal is to move on with my life and when she finally gets that I'm not pursuing her anymore and that I agree with the divorce and moving in that direction, her feelings will have nothing to fight against.

Will it make a difference? Damned if I know! I do know it can't hurt anything! Sure can't make anything any worse than it is. But doing what I've been doing all along, as far as trying to get her to see things differently, has done NOTHING helpful for me...at all!