Britt, I am glad to hear how things have turned out. MC sounds like a good step. I have only had 3 MC sessions so far (every 2 weeks) but it helps us keep on track with our progress. Good luck.
Luvless this should make you very happy, you've been given a blueprint to work with in your own situation ;-)
I think a LOT of people have!
Britt, I hope you'll strongly consider starting a thread, called maybe "Becoming the WAS ... WORKS!" and sharing your story. There are SO many people who would be helped by it. Robx, Gucci, Gno and many, many others keep screaming from the rooftops, but you are LIVING PROOF that a betrayed spouse can be successful if they can TRULY convey . . . "I'm done."
Thank you so much everybody. Thanks for all the encouragement. It is really something that I am where I am today.
I didn't think I had the strength but turns out I did. You cannot believe the feeling when you finally stand up for what you believe in and become that WAS. Its amazing. Not saying its going to save your marriage everytime but even if it doesn't, its the best thing I could have done for myself. I have become this new strong, independant woman and baby it feels good! I feel happy with my situation, but honestlly if it doesn't work out in the end, I know now that I will survive. I can do it. I didn't know that until I finally stood my ground.
Rocked, yes you’re right. Definitely don’t want to slip back. Its been two weeks and our meeting is in another week and a half, which is longer than I wanted but our MC is going on a holiday, so no choice. I will do my best to work on this until we meet.
Gnosis, aahh, I now know what you mean! He He, wish I would have said that much earlier but the fear ruled my life. I think you’re right, I just wasn’t ready for it, but when the time came I did it. And now that’s all that matters. I am trying to continue with my positive changes, GAL’ing, 180’s, etc. But truthfully sometimes its hard. You quickly get back into that old habit of where I was before he left, and how we lived before he left. I have to kick myself in the butt when I feel myself making excuses to stay home and so on and so forth. Its easy to stay home and be lonely when you know your H is coming to your bed at the end of it all. When he was away, I NEEDED to get out, to save my own sanity. And therefore I got a life. I have to constantly remind myself not to throw that out the window. That’s what attracted H to come home in many ways, so can’t lose sight of that. And you’re right, I will check in here as much as possible to try and help others. Even just by giving them sight of a happy ending that is possible. Its nice sometimes to hear that people DO reconcile and what I needed to do to make that happen. Puppy suggested starting my own thread with my story. And I just may do that! Thank you for sticking by me through all this and your excellent advice! Even though I didn't always follow through, every word you said, stuck in my mind, and eventually I used it! Towards the end you were really there for me and up front about everything and I truly appreciate that! You are a very intelligent man and do a lot of good on here. I really hope to follow in your footsteps one day. Its such a nice feeling to have someone really take the time to help you out when your world feels like its ending, minute by minute. Thank you again.
Luvless, glad my story has brightened your day! There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter which turn you take. I will be starting a new thread soon when I get a chance with a quick version of my story. Look out for it. It may help you in some way!
Maynard2121, you don’t know how happy I was to read your comment. I too was once in your position and remember reading something similar to my post today on another thread. And you’re right sometimes its so nice to see that people CAN change, and the crazy ups and downs can eventually end. I know what your talking about when you mention the fog shifting. I lived it for 4 months. Everybody is different. Your S will either come out of it sooner or later, or you will be fed up with it sooner or later. But I am living proof that what we ALL want in the end does happen! I will look up your thread and catch up on your story as I am not familiar. Thanks for the post!
R2C, HUGS right back atcha!
Trent, thank you for your kind words. I am thrilled to say the least. Just praying right now that this lasts. Of course things have died down a little since it first happened. But I can’t expect to live like 2 teenagers in love forever. We are getting back into the swing of things and the “honeymoon” phase is fading a bit. But that’s what MC is for, to keep us on the right track. I don’t want to derail and I definitely don’t want him to. Thanks so much for never giving up on me…well actually you did for a while there…he he. But I followed through and you came back! And have been with me through the thick and thin. I will forever be grateful for all the time you have put in to be my friend and help out a complete stranger. Right from day one. THANK YOU!!!
Maplegal, yes I am looking forward to MC. I agree, we need help to keep the progress up and he definitely needs reminding of what he needs to do and the effort he needs to put in to make this marriage work. He knows that. Its just to get there. Have to wait another week and a half, but that’s okay! Glad MC is working for you as well!
Puppy, thank you so much for the encouragement! I will be forever grateful for all your help as well. You may not think you helped as half the time if not more, I did not follow through on your advice. But even though I didn’t follow through THEN, I eventually did. It was still nice to come on here and hear your words of encouragement and advice. Its nice to know someone is always trying to help you. And your words stick in my mind. And hopefully will in the future when I try to help others in my situation. I will take your advice again and start a thread. I am living proof it CAN happen. And I know from experience its always nice to hear a story with a happy ending. Especially when you can take key pointers and advice out of it and apply it to your own sitch. So I will definitely do that. Thank you.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
Britt may I suggest a second thing? In addition to your thread here in Newcomers with your story, start up a thread in Piecing. There are good folks there too who have been through what you've been through and can still help you. Besides that, I still wanna kick your butt around a bit whenever you slip up.
Ha Ha! I'll need it. I kind of already did. Last week we got one of those " YOU HAVE JUST WON A TRIP TO ...." I should have just hung up because we are definitely not in the place to be taking a trip or even setting such a permanent plan in the future. But I listened and ended up buying it. So now we have 18 months to travel to an all inclusive resort in Cancun. H okayed it...I called him on cell while on the phone with this guy and he approved it so I can't be too hard on myself. Just don't want him to get scared about it. I feel like right before he left we were in final stages of developing house plans to build a new house. And it scared him, maybe he wasn't ready, but I pushed for it so much till he agreed. I'd hate for this to be the case. Although I didn't push this time. But still its the commitment. But at the same time maybe I deserve a little commitment too. ???
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
Britt, I am so happy for you. I'm going to read more into your sitch because it sounds like I could learn a lot.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
