Question

[awest1217]

Thanks Lucky! I was actually thinking about MC as well. Maybe talk to him next week since we do have to get things rolling sooner. I am only worried it won't help because H has a bachelor's in psychology, he kind of says "if I was a therapist this is waht I would tell myself" or "this is the only thing a therapist will do so I am a lost cause". I have to help him see past his own knowledge on the subject to be open to doing what someone else says without says that won't work because it has been proven in such and such a case to be a bad practice.

I am still going to see how this weekend goes. I have a four day weekend and he has a three day weekend. We both have off the 15th so V-day is a good time to spend together. Maybe we will get to spend all weekend together? I am now thinking that is less of a possibility because H knows if he moves back no OW so he might hang with her as much as possible to get his "fix" before he comes home. Who knows? I can't worry about that. I have to focus on what I want and what I am going to do. I think I am going to get him a nice V-day card and write in it how I know he is scared, but I have the faith in him that if he really wants to stop these behaviors he can, especially now that I know about them. If he slips up, which we will all do from time to time, he can come to me and say I messed up and just pick up and keep moving on.

Then talk next week about MC and about how OW's H will be gone so I need to be reassured they won't be sleeping in the same place, or seeing each other.

What do you think? I am trying to show love, yet let him know subtly that he knows the "rules". He always hates when I bring them up because he says "if I am coming home, don't you think I know what I have to do. You don't have to rub my face in it". I am trying to be sensitive to his feelings, but protect myself at the same time. Very fine line.

On another note, since H may be coming home in less than a month, S needs to stop sleeping with me so he doesn't resent H for "taking his place". So it was rough, but I put S to bed in his own bed. A lot of tears and a lot of "mommy I just want you" :(, but right now he is in his own bed. Now just to keep it up.