Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

I emailed my attorney yesterday about what to do with the non visit requests. Here is his response:

"It's a win win situation. If he wanted to protest the times, he should have protested them. Write down every time he tries to change the visitation times. If you're available you're available and it's YOUR choice. If you're not, you have a record of him being an [censored]. It will usually come into effect later, because either assholes will try to get you for contempt, or they'll claim that you're keeping them from their kids when in reality, they can't even maintain the amount of custody that is court mandated."

[iwantittowork]

(((((SO2)))))))

Please don't bash me for being weak...I am just being honest about my fears. I am explaining what I go through when he does this and how much it takes me to stand up to him.

It's not about 'bashing' you, but your ex knows that he can do this, and how it affects you, and why he continues to do so. It's like a bully that knows they can get away with it.

You'll come to your own place, in your own time, but know that we are here to offer advice and hugs. I'll leave it at that for today, and just pass along a hug.

((((So2)))))

Try and enjoy the movie, and just have a good time with you friend!!

[Startingover2]

Thanks Iwitw. I am moving forward slowly but surely. Standing up to him is hard, but something I NEED to do for me and for baby. So I will, but it doesn't take the fears away. Maybe eventually those will subside with some successes!

[Startingover2]

Just got home from music class and exh was a no show...just like I thought. No text or call from him either way. Noting it in my journal.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

and because he was a no show, I think it worked out good that you invited him. just shows again how he is not taking responsibility, and just trying to do things at his own convenience.

He has known he can get away with things, so of course he's going to be doing this! this is totally expected! It is like the child that keeps saying please and then the parent gives in after 10 times. that just shows the child that NO actually means YES!

I still say you need to write him an email or something in writing (and copy) about adhering to the courts decision and if that is not possible then he needs to go to the courts to arrange something else, it is not up to you to change the schedule.

otherwise he's going to continue trying to change the schedule.

and SO2, I totally know what you mean about the fear. it's okay, you have a right to feel this way, and it is scary. And yes, perhaps the more success you have as you are standing up to him, the easier it will be. What I think will help is telling him what he should expect. You have already said that you only want texts about baby, but do you need to be more specific? and I think if you talk to him about the schedule, that will help to.

If you have told him what he should expect from you, and you follow thru with those actions, then your fear should be lessened, IMHO.

[Reincarnated]

SO2, bash you? I hope you don't feel like I am bashing you - I actually think you are really awesome! I know how hard this has been - do you realize how quickly you have gone between wondering if you were making the right decision (just over the holidays when he was being ultra-manipulative), thinking you should give him another chance, to today, where you can SEE the real person he is? That is HUGE!

Also a positive step that you checked with your atty.

And the fact that you are going out for some grown-up time tomorrow! Enjoy every second, guilit-free - you SO deserve it!

[Startingover2]

St and DF...thanks I do so appreciate your support.

I really want to see that Dear John movie tomorrow, but not sure I want to sit through a mushy romantic movie on my one and only night out. Might be depressing!

[Startingover2]

I am in a cleaning out mood today. I cleaned out my entire room. Got rid of old clothes I never wear anymore. I also came across some stuff that belonged to exh. His shirt and pants he wore at our wedding, a photo album of his family, and some other clothes. My son was leaving so I asked him to load this stuff into his truck and drop it by exh's house. Exh's kids left thier bikes here and he loaded those as well. I think I purged everything that was his..I hope.

My son called me afterwards and said exh was shocked to see him and to see him dropping this stuff off. Exh asked my son what I was doing today...my son said "Shes getting rid of crap." HAHA! He said he didn't know if exh got it or not.

[smith18]

You should have kept at least one outfit of his and made a life sized voodoo doll.

[Startingover2]

You should have kept at least one outfit of his and made a life sized voodoo doll.

Dang! Good idea. Maybe I will come across some more stuff. How about I take a picture of exh and throw darts at it?