yeah and have her take a COUPLE pics with her cell phone for PROOF!!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I don't feel real comfortable asking others to spy for me either. However, I do feel like the OWH does deserve to know. And this might help end the A faster with him confronting his W. I think at this point, the OW is not getting any pressure from her side, it's only my H.
I am going to send an anonymous letter to his parent’s house as well as his brother’s house that I will address to the OWH. I know a lot of others on here won’t agree with that way of contact, but until I can speak to him myself I feel the faster I let him know the better. If he decides not to believe this letter, then that is his problem, I know that I would like to know if I was on that side of the fence, no matter how I was told.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
Yep -- about a $40, pay-as-you-go BoostMobile phone, with all of its sounds turned off (and a little piece of black electrical tape over its speaker, just in case), charged up and placed into my son's baseball gear bag (it was offseason) in the trunk of her car.
You can buy an app from BoostMobile called "MapQuest Find Me" for about five bucks per month, and then just add minutes as you need them (you'll hardly need them at all, since you won't be calling the phone or making any calls with it). BINGO -- a sub-$50 GSP unit.
The program is really good. It worked about 90-95% of the time, although I did have to take the phone out and re-charge it every couple of nights, and then get it back into the trunk without my wife catching me. Then I just logged on to a secure website, and I could "see" where her car was (this was legal, as the car was in my name and I paid for it). You can even set e-mail "alerts" when the phone comes within "X" distance of any predetermined location, so, for example, when her car was within 100 yards of OM's house, I'd get an e-mail.
Saves your time and worry with constant snooping, and the screen-shots make GREAT stocking-stuffers for your attorney!
MB28 I don't know if I would call this spying... you make it sound like you are violating something.
You are protecting your home. You are only finding out what your H is doing because he isnt' telling you.
Investiative reporters do this work ALL THE TIME to find out info that the public needs to know. Once they have their info they publish it.
Are Investigative Reporters Spying or are they just finding out what the public has a right to know?
Your H is obviously hiding intel from you. He's leaving you little choice but to suck it up or find out for yourself...
I don't agree about the letters, they an be intercepted or just tossed in the garbage. A DIRECT IN PERSON VISIT really is the only one that has any force.
If you write a letter you just look cowardly and uncertain. If you show up at his door you are making this a personal visit... it carries a LOT more weight than the letter.
I get letters from my neighbours frequently about lawn maitnenance etc, i just throw them out, i find it irritating. I don't think much of the person who snuck up to my door and slipped a note in the slot and ran away... honestly it doens't send the right message in my opinion.
mb, a gentle 2x4 here. but you are taking too long to tell OWH.
I am sure it is hard to imagine crushing someone with the news but remember, along with the pain comes relief in knowing the true source of the spouse's rejecting behavior..
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I agree it is taking to long to contact OWH. I was almost able to do it last Monday, but then one of the kids ended up getting sick. I know where she works, and I think she gets off at around 11pm, so it makes it hard to follow her. I'm home in bed with the kids at that time. And most of my friends either don't have the time or won't do it. I'm still trying everything I can to get this guys cell phone#.
I agree that the letters can get intercepted or tossed. However, I will be addressing these to him, so I'm hoping his parents will make sure he gets them instead of tossing it. I hate how so many people now a day's don't have land lines and only have cell phones.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
mb28 do you know where OWH works? Maybe you could call him there to arrange a time to meet. Sorry if this has already been suggested.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
newmama, Unfortunately, I don't know where he works or what he even does for a living. Most of my intel about OW I got when I had access to my H emails and FB accounts. So other then her H name, I know nothing else about him. I'm close to hiring a PI, to get info for me.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
