You had a choice. But rather than giving her the space it seems like she kept asking for, you kept bugging her. I wouldn't say she was a rageaholic. If someone you didn't like kept bugging you, I think you'd get pissed too.
All you did was get her pissed and now you're saying "oh well I guess it's what I wanted in the first place".
Have you done anything for yourself during all this? You say that you haven't listened to any of the DB seniors so far. Well it's not too late, even though you keep muttering to yourself that it is. If the people on DB have started to lose respect for you, it's no wonder your W has.
Start TODAY. No calling, talking, etc. GAL. Get her respect back by getting your confidence back.
She is a rageaholic...and not because of what happened today. People have been telling her to go to anger management for years...including her family. When we were together, it was like walking on eggshells at times to try and not do anything to make her angry. I'm not a professional but I speculate that she may have Borderline Personality Disorder.
And while it may not be too late to work on me (I mean it's never too late for a person to do things for themselves)...I'm sure the R is done. If it wasnt done after my going over and catching her and OM, it is now.
She said today it would take a long time for her to get over being so miserable and get over how I treated her in the R. Statements like that are so infuriating...the way she talks it was like I was one of these spouse-beaters or something. She is just as much to blame for what happened as I am...no more or less.
And of course in any of our conversations over the past few months did I ever once mention all the stuff she did? nope...as always I just let her dump on me because I know to even suggest she had any fault would piss her off.
Anyway...what happend over the last 24 hours was a mistake...I wish it hadnt happened, but it did happen and I cant change it...just like I cant change anything else in the past.
And as I said without risking any legal reprocussions I cant do anything but keep to myself, workout, read, take care of D3, and hopefully get my IC to help me with the codep. issues with my ex.
