Glad to hear that Maple. And, the days like this morning happen... there will plenty of them. I am trying to remember that the guilt our H's must feel would weigh heavily on them. So, to deal with that they will sometimes pick at our faults and make them big (black and white statements with the "always" and "never"). I am trying not to get defensive, hear the truth in what he is saying but also challenge the black and white thinking. Not easy.... no one said piecing would be. But I think it will be worth it, and sounds like it will be for you too.
One thing I pick up in your sitch is the tendency for your H (and maybe you) to avoid things. We struggle with that too. When you have been through a crisis like this, who wants to go back there? But, H and I have realized that avoiding was one of the issues that got us to this place, so we have to push through and talk anyway, even when hard.
