To me, she sounds like she's still in Stage 2 in what I call the 4 Stages of Remorse:
I do think your wife is in one of the stages of remorse, but there are several stages. They'll go from "I'm sorry I got caught," to "I'm sorry for ME that I've messed myself up so much," to "I'm sorry for YOU that I hurt you (but I still don't see anything wrong with what I did)," to finally a more self-aware "I'm sorry for what I did because IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO, on so many levels. For me, for the pain I caused my husband, for the breaking of my vows, etc."
The above is tied to infidelity. My extrapolation is this:
1) I'm sorry I asked for D 2) I'm sorry for my mistakes 3) I'm sorry for YOU that I hurt you 4) I'm sorry for what I did because IT WAS THE WRONG THING TO DO, on so many levels
